Crescendo / Decrescendo

Jeff Buckley died at just 31 years of age. He will be defined by one piece of art--and one piece only. I realize the argument. "But we aren't defined by just what we do!"--but part of me still sees that as his only true definition. Grace was what he brought into the world, and it was almost as if he was put on Earth to record that single album before his passing.

After writing my Senior Project song back in November, I was terrified that this will be my final definition for myself. Even during my countless rewrites--it still never felt completely whole. It really only took one line to make me change my mind on the piece.

First off, I had mentally stumbled upon the titled "Crescendo / Decrescendo," which I am extremely happy with. Secondly, I brought out my harmonica to add touches to the beginning and end. I'll post the lyrics here, but expect a recorded audio version to arrive shortly as well.

Crescendo / Decrescendo

We woke up this morning
Different people than we were
Walked back down those side streets alone

But each night I see your face
In every corner shop window
I have to pass as I walk home

But that's okay
What's done is done
And I can't hold you here like that
It's time that I just let you go

Just keep on walkin'
Don't turn around
'Cause I might see that look upon your face
That I know so well
Just keep on breathin'
That midnight air
Right now I feel colder than
Dante's Hell

The Devil weeps upon his throne
Broken heart in hand
Even Lucifer can't please everyone he meets

And sometimes I like to think
I'm not as crazy as I sound
Empty souls carry no memories around

But that's okay
What's done is done
And I can't hold you here like that
Trapped inside these four walls

Just keep on walkin'
Don't turn around
'Cause I might see that look upon your face
That I know so well
Just keep on breathin'
That midnight air
Right now I feel colder than
Dante's Hell

Meetin' with the Man himself
Across the River wide
Hoping judgment comes down on me tonight
And I'm praying for the first time
But probably not my last
Being lowered into the chilly depths of life

But that's okay
What's done is done
And I can't hold you here like that
I'll turn around if you turn first

Just keep on walkin'
Don't turn around
'Cause I might see that look upon your face
That I know so well
Just keep on breathin'
That midnight air
Right now I feel colder than
Dante's Hell
Right now I feel colder than
Dante's Hell

Bleedin' Out From All These Wounds

I'm telling myself now that I will update regularly now. A new year has come and practically gone--and I'm afraid at how much has changed. Part of my old-self keeps trying to reason with my new-self about life and comfort and clarity, but neither side can be mature enough to admit that the other is correct. Much like my own personality--even my subconscious is stubborn.

Sometimes I listen to what people tell me about myself. Other times I don't. It's as simple as that. I admit that I'm a horrible snob--but I don't see any reason to try and alter that. And instead of "snobby," I prefer "selective."

While I was writing out my usual list of Top Ten Albums of the Year--namely for 2008, as it was last year--I began to think about how each work inspired my own writing. After being exposed to The Gaslight Anthem sometime in August, I was hooked. It was the modern Springsteen I had been searching for my entire life. Both of their records now sit nicely tucked away in my collection. I finished writing my song for my Senior Project... Should I be capitalizing that? It seems too important not to...

But mixed up in all of the excitement of graduation, life, and music--I'm still able to hold on to what matters most. I'm not exactly sure what that is yet--but my song definitely does.